Interim
by HellonHeels44
Summary: Andrea Hobbs finds herself at a crossroads in her personal life. Caught between the frustrating standstill of her present reality and the exciting allure of a new life, she's forced to navigate through her conflicting emotions while also handling the most important case of her career. Written with the lovely DefyingNormalcy!
1. Chapter 1

It was the type of orgasm that left Andrea's head swimming; she lay there feeling utterly lightheaded and breathless with her lover's head resting against her stomach. It had been a while, far too long, since she'd experienced the type of pleasure that made her knees wobble and her stomach muscles quiver; that made her back snap and her toes curl.

"I have to get ready for work," Andrea muttered, rubbing her bedmate's shoulders gently as she spoke.

She looked out the window, noticing the vibrant pinks and oranges filtering through the white curtains as the sun began to rise. It was early; she didn't really need to get to work yet. She just needed any excuse to get out of bed; she hoped that the guilt which was tugging at her restless mind didn't show on her face, but she couldn't be too careful. She had plenty of cases she could afford to get caught up on, so getting downtown with some extra time to kill this morning wouldn't hurt her. She could catch up on paperwork and still be back at Major Crimes to meet Sharon on time for their 8:00 am briefing on the double homicide her team had caught the night before.

"Well, I love you too." The brunette smirked over Andrea's navel as she kissed her way back up the blonde's body. Andrea rolled her eyes, but she smiled despite herself. She wrapped her arms around the other woman's slender body, her palms came to rest against her lover's lower back.

"I love you." Andrea looked her in the eye, hoping that her words sounded genuine enough. Andrea pulled her lover closer to her and nuzzled her neck, breaking the short glance they shared. It hurt to look her partner in the eye for too long; the feelings she'd been having lately didn't quite match up with the way things were going in their relationship. Andrea kissed her gently on the lips then rolled over in bed, tugging the duvet over her shoulders. Usually she was always the warm one, but lately she felt cold, and lonely, after the rare times that they made love these days. Something between them had changed, and not for the better.

Andrea walked in to Sharon's office holding two large, disposable Starbucks cups.

"Thought you could use this." Andrea said as she nodded at the woman behind the desk, handing her the skim vanilla latte. Sharon smiled appreciatively and took the cup from Andrea, immediately taking a sip.

"Thank you," she hummed, her lips still pressed against the lid. "I'm so sorry I never got back to you last night with the answers to those questions about Rusty's testimony. We caught this murder and I've been at the crime scene, then here since 10:00 pm last night."

Andrea watched Sharon carefully as the redhead reached her hands up to massage her own shoulders and rolled her head back, resting it against her chair. "Anyway, I sent you an email this morning, so all should be good on the court date schedules and his required appearances, I hope. Now, for today's case," Sharon started as she lifted her head and searched through the mess of files on her desk, looking for the information on their current suspects that Andy Flynn had handed her not too long ago.

"Oh, it's not a problem. I was out with someone last night, anyway, so I couldn't work on the case." Andrea hoped the information would peak Sharon's curiosity, but she knew it wouldn't. Sharon was the epitome of professional; she never asked about anyone's personal life, despite however badly Andrea seemed to be craving her attention these days.

"Oh, that's nice. Always good to catch a break. I'm glad I didn't bother you with it, then." Sharon gave Andrea a tight-lipped, polite smile before turning back to her desk to locate the list of suspects and their corresponding information. Finally, she pulled the sheet of paper out from underneath her keyboard.

"Damn, I need to clean my desk," she mumbled under her breath before handing the paper to Andrea. "We have the top two suspects in custody in interview room one. Sanchez believes it's gang related, but I'm not sure I'm ready to go there, with what he's thinking, yet. He and Lt. Sykes are seeing what other connections they can find while Lts. Flynn and Provenza are working to get what little evidence we do have processed. Lt. Tao and Buzz are working on the video from the crime scene now, and we should be ready to interview in about," Sharon looked down at her wristwatch, "forty-five minutes."

Andrea nodded as she looked over the list of names, all of them familiar to her. She'd prosecuted them before. "Well, these are all gang names, Captain Raydor. Even the top two are. There's only one I don't recognize, so if it isn't gang related, you've got the wrong list of suspects. What makes you think this isn't gang related?" Andrea raised an eyebrow as she looked over the sheet of paper at the Captain. Normally, even if they were outlandish, Sharon's hunches were right. Andrea couldn't help but feel like maybe she was wrong this time. If it wasn't gang related, why was Sharon working with all gang members?

"I do believe that these gang members can lead us to some valuable information, but the murder was way too clean. It was planned. It was a quiet assassination, not a statement; most gang related murders are gruesome and the bodies are left behind to make a point. We have very little biological evidence… whoever did this knew what they were doing. It was gang violence, Counselor, yes. But it was not our typical drive by, or initiation or revenge killing. There's something bigger going on here. Something with the bosses, not the members themselves."

Andrea nodded her understanding. She felt a chill rush down her spine; last time she dealt with the "higher ups" in a gang, she'd been faced with an assassination attempt on her own life. Why had Sharon called her in to deal this? Sure, the person who had paid for and planned her execution was behind bars now, but that didn't mean the memories weren't there. She'd always considered herself relatively safe behind her desk, but in the last few years as the main dealmaker with Major Crimes, she realized she wasn't; she was a major target for criminals who didn't like her offers. She played it off as no big deal at the time; she was fine. She was grazed in the arm by a bullet, not shot in the heart. She had proven how tough she was; she was treated like she was really part of the Major Crimes team now. The truth of the matter was, however, was that day had scared her more than she was willing to tell anyone. It was the day she realized that, to most of the people she worked with or against, that she was disposable.

"DDA Hobbs," Sharon said gently, sensing Andrea's discomfort as she watched the blonde above the rim of her glasses, "if dealing this case is too difficult, we can call in someone else from your office. I just thought you might like the protection of being here today, rather than going back and forth from the courthouse to your office with us having a steady stream of gang members coming in and out of the area. I already looked into it but with budget cuts it would be near impossible for me to assign an officer to watch over you today. I figured a department full of us was the next best option." Sharon offered Andrea a reassuring smile.

"I appreciate that," Andrea replied evenly, "but I'll be alright. You're right, I would rather be here with you… your team, than back and forth today. Thank you, Captain Raydor."

"It's not a problem." Sharon gave Andrea a subtle nod of her head to reassure her yet again.

Andrea could never read her; sometimes she thought Sharon liked her, and sometimes she thought they might even be friends if they tried. They had an understanding; they looked out for each other in the office. They brought each other coffee occasionally; they had each other's backs on tough cases. They were the token "women in charge". Beyond that, however, it really seemed like Sharon Raydor only tolerated her most days. Then again, it seemed like Sharon Raydor only tolerated most of the world; she was not a woman who screamed _I love being here._

Andrea sighed and contented herself with moving to the small table in the corner of Sharon's office to get some work done. She still had a half hour until she and the Captain had to interview the first round of suspects. She pulled her laptop and several files out of her briefcase, setting up shop on the table; hopefully focusing on work would help relieve the knot of tension in her stomach that had formed this morning in bed with Hilary; the knot that had only gotten worse when she stepped into Sharon's office.


	2. Chapter 2

Andrea reclined against the mass of pillows on their bed, careful not to mess up her hair, as she watched Hilary, bent over looking for a pair of stilettos, in their walk in closet. She'd be lying if she said she didn't appreciate the shape of the other woman in her black, tight fitting pencil skirt. Really, she loved everything about her partner from the thick brown hair that fell straight like a sheet halfway down her back, the ample curve of her cleavage in the silk button ups she often wore, down to the way she sashayed her healthy hips when she walked. At some point in their three years together, she'd loved every single thing that made Hilary, Hilary. She was convinced that the brunette was the perfect woman for her. She was smart, politically aware, artistic, successful in her profession, funny as hell, good in bed, beautiful. There was no end to the positive things Andrea had to say about her at the beginning of their relationship.

If she were being honest with herself, her hesitations about her partner and their relationship had only begun in the last year; they caught her in the quiet moments. They crept up on her when they were mindlessly watching television on the couch together, gnawed at her when Hilary was out at night for a work event without her, burned her conscience when they slept in separate bedrooms after an especially heated argument, and devastated her when Hilary sought Andrea's attention only in the hope that sex might be the outcome. It seemed lately that the cracks in their relationships were becoming harder and harder to repair.

"Andie, honey, do you think these go alright, or are they too... eh?" Hilary quizzed her, holding a pair of patent red stilettos against her black, monochrome outfit. She had a thick black belt sitting at the waist of her pencil skirt with a loose fitting, sheer black button up tucked in over a tight fitting black camisole.

Andrea wrinkled her nose at the sight of the shoes in her partner's hands and shook her head in the negative. "Little art house cliche, don't you think?" she laughed, "Wear the blue ones, or the plum ones."

Hilary nodded and bent back down, grabbing a pair of rich, plum coloured stilettos off the bottom shelf of the closet. She slipped them on her feet and moved towards Andrea, who was clad in a deep red lace cocktail dress, her hair swept up in a perfectly tousled french twist. She had more makeup on than usual, but it was still subtle and natural looking. "You, my darling, are an absolute vision," Hilary purred as she pulled Andrea towards the edge of the bed and rested her arms around her neck.

"You're not looking so bad yourself, Ms. Deputy Director," Andrea grinned as she nuzzled her nose into Hilary's neck, her hands resting comfortably on the other woman's hips.

Hilary let a soft moan escape her lips as Andrea's mouth came into contact roughly with her neck. She let the older woman enjoy her for a moment before pulling away, reluctantly.

"Hmm... as much as I love the attention, we're going to be late," Hilary pouted. It was the first time in weeks Andrea had initiated any sort of intimate physical contact with her, and of course they were on their way out the door. "But if you'd like to finish what you started later on, Counselor, I'm sure I'd be up for it."

Andrea slid off the bed and balanced on her nude stilettos, wrapping an arm around Hilary's waist. She kissed her partner at her hairline and smiled at her. She hardened her resolve; she was going to take Hilary to this party, celebrate the exhibit opening and her promotion, then bring her home and make love to her. Hilary was her partner, and she deserved a wonderful evening of celebration. She deserved Andrea loving her, one hundred percent, instead of this distracted, distant version she'd gotten of her lately. All of this distraction and tension was nonsense, and Andrea needed to put it aside, _now. _

XXX

"How does it feel to be dating the woman in charge?" Gavin guffawed as he asked Andrea, clapping his hand against her shoulder as they chatted.

"I just seem to have a thing for women in power," she muttered sarcastically, rolling her eyes as she took a sip from her champagne flute. She looked over at Hilary, who was speaking with a group of reporters for some society page, no doubt. Andrea always hung back when Hilary gave those interviews, much to Hilary's chagrin. She never was one to enjoy the limelight, and she didn't want her face plastered all over LA's culture magazines and columns, despite Hilary's career. Sometimes she couldn't avoid it. Every so often she'd turn the page of a local magazine and be confronted by her own face. She'd always blush violently and start a long string of prayers that no one at work would read that magazine that week. So far, no one had brought up the fact that she was dating the woman in charge of the Los Angeles County Museum of Art. She didn't want to come across as one of those snooty LA society types; that wasn't who Andrea Hobbs was. Hell, it wasn't who Hilary Goldstein was, either, at least initially. It was just her job. The woman loved art and hit a lucky break in her career; their reward was having lots of photographers in their faces during these types of events.

"So what is her official title now?" Gavin smiled, crossing his arms over his chest and cupping his champagne flute against his side as he chatted easily with his good friend. Andrea had invited him and a plus one for her own comfort; she hated these parties. She loved supporting Hilary, but she never could quite wrap her mind around the art crowd in LA.

"Deputy Director for Art Administration and Collections," Andrea said, "So now, instead of just curating individual exhibits, she is in charge of every collection and piece of art that passes through the doors of this museum. She was in charge of a lot before, but now the whole artistic side of the museum is hers." A waiter holding a tray walked by them, Andrea drained the rest of her drink before setting the empty glass down on the tray.

Gavin drained and disposed of his glass as well, then looked around the full gallery to observe the other guests. "Who the hell are all these people?"

"Museum donors, the other executive staff, people they pay to come in and look pretty in photos?" Andrea laughed, shaking her head. "I don't know. I guess I should go pose for some photos with Hilary. I feel bad for deserting her with all the press. I just hate that crap."

"I know you do, doll," Gavin sighed, "that's the downside to dating pretty, connected, successful women in this town. You don't like it, date down," he deadpanned.

Andrea rolled her eyes and crossed her arms protectively over her chest. "Speaking of dates, who is your plus one? Are you flying solo this evening, my darling?" Andrea teased.

Gavin shook his head, "No, I brought a lady friend. Jason is at his parent's for a visit and I didn't want to miss this for you, so I just grabbed another friend who looks good in an evening gown," he said while smirking.

"Oh. And she deserted you immediately, I see," Andrea laughed. Her expression changed quickly from one of laughter to one of concern as she saw just who Gavin had invited.

Sharon Raydor was walking towards her, clad in a tight black floor length evening gown, her red curls perfectly done in a sweeping half updo, chandelier earrings hanging elegantly at the sides of her face. Her makeup was immaculate and her gown, which was simply done but clearly designer and cut to look as though it had been hand sewn on to her body, was perfect.

"Gavin, I'm sorry it took me so long, the line for drinks was uh-" Sharon paused as she noticed the blonde standing next to her friend. She hadn't been expecting Andrea Hobbs to be standing in front of her, clad in a dress that short, or that tight.

"DDA Hobbs, what a pleasant surprise, running into you here," she said politely as she handed Gavin his glass, suddenly feeling the express need to drain her own.

Andrea hoped beyond hope the color of her face would stay even as she spoke to Sharon. She hated blushing. "Oh, yes, umn," she stuttered, "well, I uh, I come to these things quite a lot."

Gavin laughed as he watched Andrea struggle. He knew neither woman enjoyed unprofessional situations; he hadn't told either one that the other was coming. He rolled his eyes and took a sip of his gin and tonic, watching the show play out in front of him as both women stammered. His bets were on Sharon to recover more quickly, if he knew either of them at all.

"Oh, how lovely," Sharon smiled at Andrea, keeping her cool. "I was glad when Gavin invited me this evening. I'm a member at LACMA, but certainly not one who's important enough to be invited to the Deputy Director's promotion party," she laughed, thinking she was making a light-hearted joke.

Andrea narrowed her eyes at Gavin, wondering exactly what he thought he was up to. Had he noticed something? He loved playing games with the closest of his friends, but what was he playing at by bringing Sharon along tonight? Sure, she'd confided in him about the issues that she and Hilary had been having lately. She knew that Gavin had caught her staring at Sharon a few times over the years; both before and after her relationship with Hilary began. Andrea mentally scolded herself; Gavin was one of her oldest and dearest friends. His sometimes inappropriate sense of humour aside, he'd never do anything to discord her relationship with Hilary. Sharon being here didn't really matter anyway, there was no reason they couldn't play friendly this evening and then go back to work like normal adult, co-workers in the morning.

Andrea felt a gentle squeeze against her waist, she turned her head just as Hilary's arm made its way around the small of her back. Instead of relief, her partner's presence made her even more tense. Of all times for Hilary to finally break away from the press and actually join her for any portion of the evening, of course it had to be now.

"Gavin!" Hilary grinned as she leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. Instead of letting go of Andrea in order to greet Gavin, Hilary simply trailed her hand along her lower back until it came to a rest on the outside of Andrea's hip, staying there while she hugged their friend. Andrea looked up at Sharon nervously as she felt the heat radiating off her face and neck. _So much for not blushing, _she thought to herself. Hilary finally let go of Gavin and moved back to Andrea's side, wrapping her arm firmly around her again.

Sharon nodded and bit her lip as realization dawned on her; the woman standing before her, with her arm wrapped around her favourite DDA, was the woman who stood at the podium and gave a rousing speech about social media, connectivity, art, and museums in the 21st century less than an hour ago. Sharon had just spent forty-five minutes silently commending her brilliance as an artistic mind and now here she was, practically hanging all over Andrea Hobbs. Sharon bit down a little harder on her lip then took a long swig of her white wine. "Gavin," she smiled, urging him to introduce her.

"Oh, yes!" Gavin laughed, shaking his head, "Sorry sweetie. Hil, darling, this is Sharon Raydor. She is the Captain and commanding officer of the Major Crimes division over at the LAPD, and is one of my oldest and dearest friends. Sharon, this is Hilary Goldstein, deputy director of...something, something... I don't know, she runs this place."

Hilary extended a slender, elegant hand in Sharon's direction. Sharon had never felt so boring, blue collar, or inadequate in her life.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Sharon. I've heard wonderful things from both Gavin and Andie," she said smoothly, her voice like velvet.

_Andie. _The casualty with which Hilary had called DDA Hobbs _Andie _made Sharon's stomach hurt and she wasn't sure why. Why was she so shocked to find that Andrea had a partner? She was a good looking woman with a successful career. No, strike that. She was a gorgeous, intelligent woman with a successful career. She was funny, charming, kind, compassionate, and interesting. Why wouldn't Andrea Hobbs have a partner? That Andrea Hobbs had a partner who could be a model, dressed in an outfit that looked as though it had been pulled from a Paris runway, who ran a museum for a living...okay, so that was a little overwhelming, but surely Andrea deserved her and she made Andrea happy.

Sharon took a shallow breath in and pulled her stomach muscles a little tighter, steeling herself against the wave of insecurity that was threatening to wash over her. Who cared that Andrea Hobbs had a partner; much less a partner like _that. _They were work friends, that was all. Why should Sharon be bothered by any of this? It wasn't as if they ever even spoke about their personal lives. Andrea only knew about Sharon's current living situation because it happened to involve a material witness in one of _her_ cases. Sharon contented herself with this knowledge, feeling foolish about the fact that she had felt slighted.

"It's lovely to meet you, Hilary," Sharon responded kindly, giving her hand a firm shake. "Your speech this evening was wonderful. I really enjoyed it."

Hilary blushed and pushed herself further into Andrea's side, which caused Andrea to wrap an arm around her shoulder. "Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. With a museum like LACMA, it can be difficult to get them to move away from... tradition, but I think I've got the board of trustees on board with some fun things. I'm excited to see where I can take the exhibits in the next five years," she mused excitedly; she clearly enjoyed talking about her work with someone other than a coworker.

Andrea grinned as she watched Hilary get lost in conversation; she loved it when Hilary got passionate. It was one thing she found very sexy about her current partner. That she was currently lost in passionate conversation with Sharon Raydor, however, caused a whole host of conflicting emotions.

Gavin and Andrea eventually stepped aside, allowing the two women to talk to each other about the ins and outs of the museum. It turned out that Sharon spent quite a bit of her free time lost in the halls of LACMA, and as such, had a lot of feedback for Hilary, which the younger woman was eating up.

"Great. Hilary's got a new best friend. I'm going to kill you if I get home from work this Friday and Sharon Raydor is sipping wine on my couch, Gavin," Andrea warned, a dangerous look in her eyes.

"Oh please, you'd love it," Gavin teased, but sobered quickly when he looked at Andrea's face. "Andrea, honey, what is it? You really don't like Sharon, do you?" he said quietly, careful not to let Sharon and Hilary overhear.

"Oh, no, it isn't that..." Andrea sighed, "I don't know... things have just... it's nothing. It's just me. I'm in a rut. Is that position in your office still open? Hilary and I have discussed it some more. I think I am going to apply."

Gavin watched Andrea for a moment, taking in her tired features. There was a sadness in her eyes she didn't normally carry; usually her bright blue eyes were full of happiness. Tonight, they were duller than usual and creased with concern. "Andrea, you're lying to me. And I don't like liars," he warned, "you've got about twenty four hours to cut the shit and tell me what's up. I know tonight's not the place, but I expect a phone call and lunch tomorrow, you got that blondie?"

"Yeah, okay," Andrea sighed, nodding her head. "We can do lunch tomorrow. I'll meet you at your office at noon."

"Gavin," Sharon's voice interrupted, "I hate to interrupt, but I need to get home. It's getting late and Rusty is alone. I just wanted to say goodnight." Sharon risked looking at Andrea and afforded her a small smile, catching her eyes for a brief moment.

Andrea cursed inwardly at the butterflies that invaded her stomach as soon as Sharon smiled at her. Suddenly she was regretting ever wanting Sharon to ask or take notice of Andrea's life outside of the office.

"It was good to see you, Captain Raydor. I'll see you at work tomorrow." Andrea was unwilling to drop the formalities she was comfortable with, even if they were standing in the middle of a museum in cocktail dresses, rather than the middle of Sharon's office in pencil skirts and blazers. She wasn't sure why, but she needed that formality to stay in place with Sharon.

"Yes, of course. It was wonderful to see you, and to meet your lovely partner," she turned her attention to Hilary again. "Thank you so much for a wonderful evening. I am looking forward to what you have planned for the museum." With that, Sharon walked away from the group to collect her coat and purse from the coat check. Andrea watched her as she sauntered off, a playful, seductive sashay in her hips as she went.

Next to her, Hilary regarded her partner with carefully hidden curiosity as Sharon made her exit.

XXX

Andrea watched Hilary as she toed out of her stilettos and untucked her shirt from her pencil skirt. She looked happy, but exhausted.

Andrea moved closer to her, wrapping her arms around her from behind. "Congratulations," she whispered in her ear, ghosting kisses along her neck. Hilary turned in her arms to meet Andrea's lips with her own, reaching around the blonde to undo her zipper.

"Thank you," she grinned as she tugged at the lace, pulling the dress down over Andrea's shoulders as she kissed her. Andrea hesitated.

"Honey I-"

Hilary sighed and moved away from Andrea, running a hand through her hair. She hoped if she and Andrea got to the bedroom quickly enough that they would somehow get lost in the passion of the moment, like they both used to. But no, lately it seemed that no matter what she did, Andrea was always, at best, mildly disinterested in making love with her. True to her fashion recently, Andrea was looking for an excuse not to be intimate with her, and she was both hurt and mildly sick of it. She looked Andrea up and down as she shrugged so that the dress fell back over her shoulders where Hilary had pulled it down.

"You're tired. It's late and you've got work in the morning. I know, Andrea." She regarded Andrea, the hurt obvious in her eyes.

"It's not..." Andrea tried to explain, tried to move closer to her again. She wanted to make love to her, if only to prove nothing was wrong. Or, maybe to prove to herself nothing was wrong. It was just...difficult approaching sex with Hilary lately; everything about it felt forced to Andrea.

"Don't," Hilary warned, backing away from Andrea. "Just go to your office and get your work done, or go to bed. I'm going to have a glass of wine on the patio and take a shower."

Andrea watched her, mouth agape, as she stormed into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of red wine off the wine rack. "So this is how we're ending tonight," she muttered under her breath as she walked down the hall, "I'm glad you had a good evening, darling." Her last words were biting as she shut the bedroom door a little harder than she should have; closing Hilary out, hopefully for the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Andrea stood in Sharon's office, visibly uncomfortable. Images of Sharon in her black satin evening gown danced through her mind as she watched the older woman sort through more files on the same messy desk she'd seen so many times before. It was unlike Sharon to be so unorganized lately and Andrea found herself annoyed by it.

"Good morning, Counselor," Sharon hummed without looking up at the blonde, "have a seat."

Andrea complied quietly and looked out the window, waiting for Sharon to brief her on the day's case. She was exhausted; Hilary had never come to bed last night and as a result she had hardly slept at all. She batted her eyelashes in quick succession to push the sleep that was threatening to overtake her in the silent office back then refocused her eyes on Sharon.

"Good morning, Captain. Sorry, I guess I'm a little tired," she muttered half-heartedly.

"I can imagine." Sharon smirked knowingly. She could only imagine the things Hilary and Andrea had done to celebrate after they'd returned home from the museum. With a woman like Andrea, her partner would be stupid not to celebrate in _every _way she could, Sharon thought to herself bitterly. "Did you and Hilary stay very late? It seemed like it was going to be quite the party last night. You must be so proud of her and everything that she's accomplished."

"Oh, uh, yes," Andrea's voice caught in her throat. She didn't want to talk about the sad state that her relationship with her partner was in. She wanted to talk about the case. "We didn't stay too late. I knew I'd have to be here first thing this morning, and the thing about running a museum is that you never really stop working," Andrea did her best to smile, "Hilary was up this morning at 5:00 am on a call to Paris. Her hours are insane."

Sharon paused as she tried to imagine Andrea's life at home; what it must look like to have her tucked away in bed with Hilary running around the house, iPhone permanently screwed into her ear. Did she speak foreign languages when she was on the phone? Did Andrea understand her? Did they travel together? How often did they go out of the country? Sharon sighed quietly as she painted the exotic portrait that was Andrea Hobbs' life in her head. It was a very different portrait than the one she had painted so many nights before, lying awake in her own bed when her mind turned to the DDA as sleep eluded her time and time again.

"I can imagine they are, but it must suit you well. Your hours aren't exactly standard office hours Andrea," Sharon laughed, then covered her mouth. "I'm sorry, DDA Hobbs." She hadn't ever called Andrea by her first name before. She wasn't sure she had the right to.

"Andrea is fine, Captain Raydor. Truth be told, you're the only higher ranking officer who sticks to the formality of calling me DDA Hobbs when we're alone," Andrea smiled weakly, nausea washing over her at the sound her first name on Sharon's lips.

Sharon smiled at her, a little sadly. "Well, I'm sorry for that then. You have a beautiful name, it deserves to be said more often," she said with what she hoped was an encouraging wink. "And please, while we're on the topic of shedding formalities, call me Sharon when we're alone. Or whenever I happen to bump into you and your lovely partner."

Andrea swallowed hard. It seemed the only adjective Sharon could find to describe Hilary was 'lovely.' It made Andrea slightly sick to her stomach to hear someone else refer to Hilary as lovely when she, Hilary's partner, could barely describe her as such lately.

"I… I'm glad you had a good time last night. I hadn't realized Gavin was inviting you. Not that I mind, it was… it was wonderful to see you, really. It's nice to see familiar faces at those things..." Andrea trailed off, nervous about divulging too much of her private life to Sharon.

"Oh, do you not know many people at them? I would have thought... Hilary made it sound as though you two had been together for quite some time," Sharon said, sounding surprised.

"We've been together for three years. I just... socializing with that sort of crowd isn't... I hate those parties," Andrea laughed, folding her hands in her lap. "I love art well enough, but I've always felt that the appreciation of art should be a more individual experience; I'm not one for the large, sometimes pretentious crowds that those sorts of exhibits tend to attract. And a part of her job is to entertain those crowds…so…" Andrea trailed off with a shrug.

Sharon nodded her head in understanding, a genuine smile crossing her lips. "I get that..." she mused, "I go alone to the museum most weekends or evenings when Rusty is otherwise occupied. I love getting lost in the galleries. I swear I feel like there's a new piece of art I've never seen every time I go. I guess I have Hilary to thank for that."

Andrea nodded, "Yes, she's very good at her job. She has a passion for it. I can't imagine her doing anything else..." Andrea looked out the window, wishing this conversation could end.

There was a time when her partner was all that she wanted to discuss with any willing participant, but lately the woman was a sore subject. After their fight last night, she wanted all things Hilary-related to stay the furthest thing from her mind. Yet, here she was, sitting with Sharon, discussing her at length. Andrea had to laugh at the irony. If Sharon hadn't shown up last night, Andrea probably could have taken Hilary home last night, pretended everything was fine, and maybe even manage to make love to her. It was the sight of Sharon that had thrown her off and fueled the doubt that had been lingering in the back of her mind; when Sharon walked up to her and Gavin, her stomach had done flip-flops. If Sharon hadn't been there, she probably could've preserved that feeling of pride and desire she'd managed to kindle in their bedroom before they'd left for the museum. Yet, Sharon had shown up and continued her slow, methodical destruction of Andrea's love life, one tight fitting dress at a time.

Andrea looked down at her wristwatch and sighed, "Well, it's nearly 9:00 am. I suppose we should get a move on with these suspects, and then at some point of today we need to discuss Rusty's case," she said, hoping that the somewhat abrupt change in conversation wouldn't come off as rude.

"I need you to make sure he's aware of all the dates he is required to appear in court and testify." She said the second half of her statement a little more gently, knowing it was a topic Sharon had been avoiding like the plague. Still, the trial was coming up in a week's time and Andrea needed Sharon to be up to speed and fully prepared for what was going to happen in the courtroom, whether she wanted to be or not.

"Yes, of course," Sharon sighed as she hardened her gaze and straightened her posture to face the day's work.

XXX

Gavin parked his car outside the El Cholo restaurant, just a couple miles from the courthouse. Mexican was one of Andrea's favourites and he figured she could use a lunch lined with libations.

"Margaritas? We'll keep it to just one, since we're both on the clock still." He smiled at his best friend as he opened the driver's side door of his black Mercedes Benz.

Andrea rolled her eyes as she got out of the car and shut the door, following him into the restaurant. She wasn't sure she was ready to tell him everything she was about to, but Gavin had a way of getting the truth out of her even when she wasn't prepared to face it herself. Usually it did involve margaritas, but it wasn't typically at one in the afternoon, nor was it on a weekday when she had to be back in the office. But, they were in a time crunch and she'd take what time she could get with him. Besides, she really needed to apply for that position in his office before Hilary took her head off. Although, with as little attention as Hilary paid her lately except to go to bed with her, she wasn't sure Hilary would even notice if she switched jobs. Still, it was worth the effort to try.

Andrea and Gavin were seated quickly in a quiet booth with two organic margaritas and their lunch orders on the way. With only ninety minutes for lunch, Gavin wasn't willing to waste any time getting to Andrea's story. "So, what's the deal kid? What's going on with you?" he asked seriously, raising an eyebrow at Andrea as he quizzed her.

"Oh God, where do I start?" Andrea laughed darkly, leaning back in the booth. She blew her hair out of her face and rested her chin in her hands, trying to find a way to tell him that her life was falling apart around her in a way that didn't sound melodramatic and wasn't going to take four hours. "I... I don't know, Gavin. I think it's me. Maybe I'm going through my mid life crisis?"

Gavin regarded her carefully. He'd noticed lately that she'd been distant, almost to the point of being cold. "Why don't we start with that bit of awkwardness when you were introducing Hilary to Sharon," he said.

Andrea felt the blood drain from her face at the mention of Sharon. Of course he went there first. "I... don't like mixing my personal and my professional life, Gavin, you know that," she muttered defensively, "Sharon is a hard woman to get along with, anyway. I never know what to do with her. She's just...awkward. She's hard to deal with." Andrea avoided making eye contact with Gavin, hoping he wouldn't see through the load of lies she'd just dumped on him. As their margaritas arrived she took a long sip of hers and stared at the back wall, her discomfort painfully obvious in her facial expression.

"Honey, you know that you can tell me anything, and I won't ever judge you right?" Gavin asked quietly. "Why don't we make a promise, that whatever is said here today doesn't leave this lunch, hmm?"

Andrea stared at him over her margarita, her lips pursed. Finally, she nodded. Gavin could tell from the way she was gripping the stem of her glass that she was deeply uncomfortable.

"I...I cannot get her out of my head, Gavin. I don't know why... It's like one day I woke up and Hilary was all wrong, but Sharon was everything that was right, and it makes me sick."

Andrea's emotionless expression did not match her admission. Gavin frowned as he watched her take another sip of her drink, wondering what was really going on in his best friend's head. "Andrea... honey. How long have you been feeling like this? I mean, I know you've been having some problems with Hil lately with the hours you're both working and whatnot... do you think it's just because you two haven't been getting along? Is Sharon just a distraction?"

"I don't know," she said quietly. "All I know is that the further apart that Hilary and I are drifting, the more I am craving Sharon's presence. I..." she faltered.

"Go on," Gavin said encouragingly.

"The other morning, Hilary and I we...we were making love," she took a deep breath, "and it was the first time in a while. And, I couldn't...I was having trouble enjoying myself. And...Sharon just invaded my mind. And..." she trailed off, too embarrassed and horrified to finish her sentence.

"I see," Gavin said quietly, rubbing his chin as he thought, "and you and Sharon don't talk outside of work or anything, do you? This is totally... not provoked by her suddenly being everywhere in your life at once?"

Andrea shook her head and closed her eyes, feeling overwhelmed by the fact that this was all finally being said out loud to someone else.

"Well... Sharon aside, what do you want to do about Hilary? Do you want to try to fix things with her and see if this little Sharon Raydor fantasy goes away? Or do you think that Sharon isn't just a symptom?" Gavin sipped his margarita, waiting for her to answer.

"I... I don't know. When I met Hilary... hell, until very recently, I thought that she was the one, Gavin. I feel so completely blindsided by all of this. I really was so convinced the she... I just, I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing," Andrea sighed, "I think I need to change jobs. I think my hours really are causing a lot of the problems. Hilary has been going out four nights out of seven without me, and I can't say I blame her anymore. If I was around more, maybe we could act like a real couple. I know she's busy too, but I could at least attend her work functions with her, you know?"

"Yes, but you hate her work functions," Gavin said pointedly, "which may hold a deeper meaning, Andrea."

Andrea slumped against the booth and poked at her plate of food, her appetite completely nonexistent. She put a small bite of food in her mouth and forced herself to swallow, but felt sick at the sensation and set her fork down. Did Gavin have a point? Were she and Hilary really just incompatible?

"You mentioned it was the first time in a while that you two had been intimate. What's a while?" he prompted gently.

"Weeks," Andrea sighed, "maybe a couple months. We're both busy. And tired, Gavin. We both work sixty-hour weeks, that little if we're lucky. Who has time for sex?" She knew she was being defensive. The truth was, until this past year of their relationship, she and Hilary had always had an active sex life.

"And it's not like she doesn't make an effort to initiate sex, it's just, I can't enjoy it if we're fighting, or agitated with one another," she admitted. "And then when I say that I'm tired, or not in the mood, she takes it personally and we end up bickering even more. And it bothers me that lately, she's only ever interested in me if she's in the mood. She's distant at home, always wrapped up in a conversation with a client or a new artist, and that takes away from the emotional intimacy we once had, and I need that to be physically intimate with her. I can't just hop into bed with her and pretend like everything's fine when it isn't. And lately we're having more bad days than good days, so..." she trailed off and bit her lip to prevent her emotions from getting the best of her.

"I see," Gavin said carefully, reaching across the table to hold Andrea's hand, "honey... have you considered that things maybe... what do you want to do about this? You know that isn't healthy. You've been there before, Andrea."

Andrea hung her head, thankful that Gavin hadn't said what he'd intended to. "I know that it isn't. I feel like we need to talk about things, but there isn't any point to that until I've done something to change my own attitude first. What do I need to have prepared in order to apply for that position in your office?"

Gavin sighed; changing jobs was not going to fix this problem, especially if Andrea was in love, or in the middle of falling in love, with someone else. Still, Sharon could just be a symptom. It could be that Andrea was in love with the idea of another woman, or of freedom and dating again, rather than Sharon herself as an individual. If things were going south with Hilary as quickly as it sounded like they were, that scenario was far more likely than Andrea having any real interest in Sharon the unique woman; or so Gavin hoped for Andrea's sake.

It wasn't that he thought Sharon and Andrea would be bad together; in fact, the more thought he gave it, the more he realized they were kind of perfect for one another. They were both homebodies with a propensity for cuddling, they both loved to spend time in the kitchen. They both loved to dance, and watch independent films, and discuss politics. They both worked for the justice system, were raised in similar families, had an interest in art but hated the pretentious crowds of the art world, they both had a weakness for bad music. Gavin felt the weight of how well Andrea and Sharon fit together hit him like a ton of bricks. He could only imagine how much worse it had to feel for Andrea, if that was the realization she had recently had as well. Perhaps Andrea's attraction to Sharon wasn't generic or misplaced at all, but completely inevitable.

As much as he delighted in the fact that Andrea had found Hilary when she did, he had always thought they were a bit of an odd couple. He rather enjoyed Hilary, but she was outside of Andrea's usual realm of women. Andrea didn't usually date women as... prissy as Hilary was. Yes, Andrea was cultured and had an eye for luxury, but she wasn't a snob, which Hilary could sometimes be. She was lovely, but different, not exactly who he would have picked out for Andrea if he were being totally honest. He had his initial doubts, but learned to quell them through the years. Now, as he sat through this lunch and watched Andrea's tearful expression as she admitted her heartbreak, they all came crashing down on his head again. No, Hilary really was not the woman for his best friend, but maybe Sharon Raydor was.

Finally, he let out a sigh. "If you want to apply to my office I will gladly put it a good word for you. Just keep a lunch date open for sometime next week incase Mark wants to meet with you for an interview. But, I will do this on one condition; my condition is that you seriously evaluate your relationship with Hilary. Don't accept that this job change is going to be the solution, because I can tell you honestly that I think it's much deeper than that. I think that you and Hil need to sit down and talk about what you both want out of this relationship, and you need to make sure your wants still align with each other."

Andrea nodded her agreement as she finished her margarita. "I know, and we will. But I can't help but feel like something... anything in my life needs to change. The job is a good start, regardless of what happens with Hilary. I need something different. And I think that I need to get away from Sharon for a bit."

Gavin glanced at his watch and sighed. He hated to take an emotionally charged Andrea back to her office, but they were running out of time. "I think that's a good idea as well, yes... but there are ways to get away from Sharon without leaving a job you love, Andrea. You don't like private law, sweetheart. You know that. You're going to be dealing with a lot of divorces in my office; you're going to be bored. You're going to be pushing property cases, not saving the world. What's my girl gonna do if she can't save the world?" he asked seriously, squeezing her arm.

His heart broke for his dear friend as he watched her hastily wipe the tears that finally spilled from her eyelids. It had been frightening to see her so cold lately, but it was downright heartbreaking to see her finally break, too; he hated to see her so miserable, again. He'd been there five years ago when her previous partner cheated on her and Andrea felt like her world had come to an end. He hoped that this time Hilary really would be the one, for Andrea's sake.

"I know... I'll think about it, okay? I'm just going to put my resume in. Even if I don't accept it, I need to apply. I need to feel... unstuck," Andrea said seriously, wiping her eyes carefully this time to avoid messing up her mascara.

"I understand," Gavin said softly. "Come on doll, let's get you back to the office. No more crying today, okay?"

"No more crying." Andrea smiled weakly as she stood up from the booth.

She took Gavin's arm and allowed him to escort her from the restaurant. Telling him about her feelings had helped a little, but it was also terrifying. Now, they were real in a way they hadn't been before; no longer could she brush them off as a figment of her overly active mind. They were up front, in her face, and she had to deal with them, before they consumed her.


	4. Chapter 4

Rusty sat back in the stiff courtroom chair glad the first day was over. Sharon approached him and placed a careful hand on his shoulder; she was unsure of whether or not she should touch him, but she was also desperate to be there as a solid presence for him. His shoulder relaxed against her hand, and she heard a sigh of relief escape him so she squeezed the tense muscle soothingly.

"Are you ready for some dinner?" she asked quietly, she kept her hand firmly on him.

He nodded, looking up at her as he rested a hand over hers. He needed to be close to her after today. "Hey...do you think we should ask DDA Hobbs to come with us? I kind of want to thank her for all her hard work today, and for stepping in between me having to deal with Emma and stuff," he asked shyly.

"Well," Sharon nodded, "I don't see why not. I'm not sure she'll say yes as it's a bit last minute but we can ask her."

Sharon let go of Rusty to approach the DDA, tapping her gently on the shoulder. "Uh, DDA Hobbs?" she asked politely, using her official title due to the fact that Andrea's co-workers were still milling about the room.

Andrea looked up from her neatly stacked papers and notes. "Yes?"

Sharon secured her purse over her shoulder nervously; lately, she felt restless in Andrea's company. "Rusty would like to know if you'd be interested in joining us for dinner? He's very appreciative of all you've done for him lately, and, well, I'd like it if you joined us as well."

Andrea smiled as she contemplated the invitation for a moment then checked her watch. It was a Thursday; the chances of Hilary being home were slim to none anyway. "That's very kind of him. Umm... I think that can be arranged. Give me five minutes?" she muttered, grabbing blindly in her briefcase for her phone. She knew Hilary wouldn't answer, but she didn't want to give Sharon the illusion that things were anything but fine between them. "I'll just call Hilary and let her know I'll be a little late." Andrea smiled weakly at Sharon then stepped outside the courtroom so she could use her phone.

While Andrea made the call, Sharon made her way back to Rusty and grabbed his suit jacket that he had left hanging on the back of the chair. "Andrea will be joining us for dinner. She seemed touched by your invitation. It was very nice of you to think of her, Rusty." She flashed a wide toothed grin at her foster son, wrapping an arm around his waist as they began their journey out of the courtroom. They approached Andrea in the hallway just as she finished leaving a message on her partner's voicemail.

"So I'll catch you later then, love you, bye," Andrea said as Rusty and Sharon approached her. She smiled at Rusty who was regarding her curiously. "Thanks for the invite, I didn't realize I was cool enough for you to hangout with outside of official business," she said; over the past few weeks of working with Rusty and Emma as they all prepared for the trial, she'd developed an easy banter with the teen.

"Yeah, you know, I thought I'd save you from a night in watching awful re-runs or something," he said, smirking at her.

"Rusty," Sharon chided, "That's rude."

But Andrea brushed off Sharon's concern. "It's fine." She tried not to think about how very accurate Rusty's statement was. Hilary had not bothered to answer Andrea's call; no doubt she was busy entertaining another up and coming artist. She probably wouldn't even see Andrea's voicemail until she climbed into the cab tonight, on her way home.

As Sharon led them out to the parking lot, she caught Andrea's arm. "We'll make it an early night, I promise. I'm sure you're anxious to get home and relax." She smiled warmly at Andrea. "Just follow my car, we'll stick with something close by."

"Oh, we can do whatever," Andrea smiled back, doing her best to make it look genuine, "Hil had a gallery thing tonight that I knew I wouldn't be able to make, so I've got some time. I just chatted with her, so she knows I'll be in a little later." She didn't know why she felt the need to lie to Sharon and say she'd actually spoken

with Hilary, but she had, and she did. She felt a sharp pang of guilt strike her side.

"Okay, as long as it's alright. I would hate to get you in trouble with your sweetheart," Sharon joked.

"Sharon, can we go to the Pig n' Whistle?" Rusty pleaded. He knew it was cheesy, but it was one of his favourite spots. He enjoyed seeing the lights and rush on Hollywood boulevard, and the old feeling of the restaurant. Sure, some considered it a tourist trap, but others still considered it one of the old, authentic Hollywood dives.

Sharon rolled her eyes exasperatedly. She hated that damn restaurant, but it had been a hard day for Rusty, and they did have a pretty okay menu.

"I guess..." she sighed, not in the mood to argue with him, "If it is alright with Andrea. She may not want to go all the way into Hollywood this late into the evening Rusty. It's going to be busy."

Andrea shrugged her shoulders. Truth be told, she missed going out in the city. Lately Hilary didn't want anything to do with her outside of their home; she never seemed to afford Andrea the courtesy of an invitation to accompany her on her evenings out these days.

"The Pig n' Whistle is fine with me. Hil won't home until after midnight, so I really do have some time to spare, Sharon. Traffic will be horrible, though, so maybe we should take one car," Andrea suggested.

Sharon nodded her agreement, then lead Rusty and Andrea to her car. "Okay, well, off to Hollywood we go, then. Rusty, make sure your things are out of the front seat for Andrea, please."

Sharon felt a certain tightening in her chest at the thought of sitting in the car with Andrea. She hadn't been in such close proximity to the blonde ever. What if she accidentally touched her thigh? What would they talk about? Sharon took a deep breath to calm her nerves as the three of them climbed into her car. It was too late to tell Rusty no. She was going to have to suck it up and drive to the restaurant with Andrea Hobbs dangerously close to her in the passenger seat. Hopefully Rusty would prove to be his usual self and talk the whole time.

"So, Andrea, is Hil short for something?" Rusty asked as soon as they pulled out of Sharon's parking spot.

Andrea swallowed the lump in her throat and prayed that she was only imagining the heat in her cheeks. "Yes, Hilary, my partner," she said curtly.

Rusty nodded his understanding. "And she works in a gallery?" he asked.

_He's being polite. He's taking an interest in me personally. He's a wonderfully kind teenager, _Andrea chanted to herself. She couldn't really get angry at Rusty; it really wasn't his fault that she was found herself enjoying his foster mother's company more than her partner's these days.

"She is the artistic director, basically, for LACMA," Andrea responded, doing her best to make her tone friendlier this time.

"LACMA. Isn't that where you always go, Sharon? So she's like, in charge of all the art and what goes up on the walls and stuff? That has to be super cool," Rusty said.

"Yes, that's where I like to visit," Sharon said from her spot in the driver's seat. "You know I recently met Hilary a few weeks ago when I went out with Gavin. She's lovely Rusty; smart, chatty, and she knows everything there is to know about art. Maybe if you come with me to the museum one day, we'll bump into her again," Sharon said knowing that Rusty tended to get along well with more creative personalities.

Andrea cleared her throat and looked out her window. How was it that conversation with Sharon always turned to Andrea's partner?

Sharon watched Andrea out of the corner of her eye, noticing how tense she became at the mention of her partner. The stiffness in Andrea's shoulders and the tightness in her face reminded her how Andrea had been when she was first introduced to Hilary. To see this reaction twice in a row now was puzzling and even slightly hurtful; did Andrea think that Sharon was prying? Did Andrea misread Sharon's friendly compliments as interest in Hilary? For all her beauty and intelligence, Hilary just wasn't the sort of partner Sharon would choose for herself.

"So, if she runs a whole museum... does that mean that she's like, super important, or famous or something?" Rusty asked again from the backseat, not ready to be done quizzing Andrea on her other half. He was curious about Andrea's home life, especially after spending so much time with her in the last few weeks. In fact, she'd spent so much time with him after her regular work hours and after his classes, that for the longest time he'd assumed that she didn't have much of a personal life.

"She is important to the museum, yes," Andrea responded as she continued to stare out the window, "and she is quite well known in the art world. I suppose you could say she's famous there. But being famous isn't all it's cracked up to be. You get a lot of cameras in your face, and people don't want to respect your privacy. But nobody knows her outside of people who care about art a lot, so, she's only famous in a very, very specific realm. It can be challenging at times to balance work and personal interests, because even when she's not at work, she's always representing the industry in some way."

Rusty nodded his satisfaction with her answer as Sharon pulled into a parking garage near the restaurant. There was no way she was going through the hassle of trying to find a parking spot on the street at this time in the evening. She'd pay the ten dollars just to park in the garage so they could have their meal and get back home before midnight. She hoped that Rusty was done with his twenty questions, the Hilary Goldstein edition. After she'd noticed Andrea's tension, she was quite ready to be done discussing the other woman. She'd tried to take an interesting in Andrea's partner to show Andrea that she could be friendly and nice, hoping that the younger woman might want to reciprocate her friendship. Clearly, that was backfiring.

Once inside the restaurant, Rusty had thankfully taken an interest in the menu, telling Andrea excitedly about the dishes he and Sharon had split last time. "She barely eats anything, so whenever we come here we order like three or four things but I eat most of it," Rusty said with a grin.

Sharon shook her head affectionately. "Not all of us are growing teenagers. Some of us are quite grown up and can't knock back all this greasy food on a regular basis," she teased.

Rusty regarded Andrea over the top of the menu. "Please tell me that you eat more than she does. Will you share with me?" he asked her.

Andrea took in the honest sincerity in his gray-blue eyes, and the eagerness in his tone. "I'd love to," she said warmly. Andrea really wasn't all that hungry; the combination of being in Sharon's presence for such an extended period of time, plus her general exhaustion, didn't do much for her appetite. But, if Rusty wanted to order a few dishes and split them with her, she would do it.

Their server came by and took their drink and meal orders. True to his word Rusty ordered an assortment of appetizers and a main entree for he and Andrea to split, while Sharon stuck with a chicken salad. Andrea contented herself on making small talk with Rusty about his studies; she hoped that she could keep the conversation centered on him rather than on herself.

"So Rusty, college applications are just around the corner. Have you given any thought as to what you want to study or where you want to go?" she asked.

Rusty bit the straw of his drink nervously. "Not really, no."

Andrea shrugged sympathetically. "It's okay. I didn't really know what I wanted to do right out of high school either. I took a year off and I went backpacking across Europe."

"Really?" Rusty asked, fascinated.

"Really," Andrea said smiling. "It was a great experience. I met a lot of people and saw some of the most beautiful sights in the world. And, I found myself too. When I got back home I realized that I wanted to pursue an undergraduate degree in law and political science at Chapman. Orange County was far enough from my parents that I could live in a house away from them, but close enough that I could still come home on the weekends so my mother could feed me a proper meal. And Old Towne Orange was a fun place to cause mischief."

Sharon chimed in, "Rusty's a wonderful artist. I suggested that he look into artistic or graphic design programs."

"Is that so?" Andrea asked. Rusty nodded. "My eldest nephew works for Sony in New York. If you're seriously interested, I could get the two of you in contact. If you wanted to take a trip out there, I'm sure he'd be happy to give you a tour of the office. You could make some contacts for an internship perhaps?" she suggested.

"That'd be great," Rusty smiled shyly, pushing his food around his plate, "I was uh... I was looking on the Pepperdine website the other day." He hadn't told Sharon that yet, but he was seriously considering it. "I like that it's umn, that it's close to home, with Sharon, and that it has a good program for graphic design."

Sharon smiled at Rusty, willing the tears to stay behind her eyelids. She was touched that Rusty wanted to stay close to her; that he considered where she was 'home'. She rubbed his forearm encouragingly.

"That sounds like a wonderful school Rusty, and I'd be very proud of you if that's what you decided to do after high school."

Andrea sat back against the booth as she watched the interaction between Sharon and Rusty; that knot of tension returned in her stomach as she listened to the conversation between them. Was every evening like this with them? Things felt so simple and positive, and, _easy. _The logical part of her mind knew of course that they'd had troubles adjusting to one another, anyone who had been present in the Major Crimes department when Sharon first took over could tell you that. But, against the odds, they'd come together and formed a real family; the affection between them was subtle, but it was very much there.

Andrea thought about her own mess of a family life that she had to return home to and her heart sank; would Hilary even be there? If she was, would this be an evening they managed to get along, or would they end it in an argument again? She missed when they shared that subtle affection, when they felt like a family versus a pair of two separate women. Once upon a time their relationship had been full of easy, loving exchanges. Once upon a time there hadn't been an evening that went by without Hilary wrapped around Andrea's body. Now, they were lucky if they shared the same bed at all, much less anything more intimate than that. As she continued to observe Sharon and Rusty interact throughout the course of their meal, she couldn't help but feel an intense longing to be a part of their loving family. Every time Sharon would nudge Rusty teasingly, or he would roll his eyes playfully at her, Andrea felt a little bit more alienated. By the time their bill came, she felt utterly lonesome, and, ignoring Sharon's protests, she presented the server with her credit card.

"Andrea," Sharon said exasperatedly, "Rusty and I wanted to take you out tonight."

"You did," Andrea said simply. "You took me out and I had a wonderful time, and this is my way of thanking you for that," she said as the server handed her the receipt.

Rusty added, "You know that just means that next time dinner is on us, right? And you'll have to bring your partner too," he said.

Andrea could only manage a half-hearted smile. "That would be lovely. I'll have to see when she has time though. Crazy work schedule and all," she said, hoping to sound enthused at Rusty's invitation.

"Can't be any worse than yours," Sharon smiled, take the risk to rub Andrea's arm gently as the three of them made their way outside. "This was fun, Andrea. Thank you so much for joining us. Let me take you back to your car so you can enjoy the rest of your evening too."

Andrea thought she was going to be ill as soon as she felt Sharon's hands on her. She swallowed hard and pursed her lips, then forced them into a weak smile. "It was fun, I enjoyed the evening with you and Rusty very much, Sharon," she said quietly, looking Sharon in the eye.

Though she was smiling, there was a distinct look of sadness in her eyes. She looked tired and worn, and suddenly Sharon felt guilty for having kept her out so late.

"Rusty, why don't you go ahead and take the front seat? You two are dropping me off at my car anyway," Andrea suggested. Thankfully, he didn't pick up on the fact that she most definitely did _not _want to have to suffer through sitting so close to Sharon again. He threw his sweater in the front seat and then opened the back door for her courteously.

The drive back to the courtroom's parking lot was done in near silence. When Andrea exited Sharon's car, it was with a soft farewell and it was received with a silent nod.

Rusty watched Andrea get into her car as Sharon turned her car around to get back onto the road. "Hey, is she okay?" he asked. "She seemed kind of, I don't know, off after dinner."

"It's been a long week for her. I'm sure she's just tired. Not all of us have the energy of a seventeen year old," she said warmly. "She's probably aching to just get home and climb into bed."

The bed that she shared with her partner. Hilary, Sharon reminded herself, who was most decidedly _not _her.

XXX

Andrea shrugged on her worn t-shirt and scraped her hair back in a messy bun. She wasn't surprised when she came home this evening to an empty, dark house. Though she'd hope Hilary might be home, she knew that she wouldn't be. She grabbed her cell phone and sank down into the couch, dialing her partner's phone number from memory. On the second ring, she was assaulted by the tone of Hilary's voicemail recording. Hilary had ignored her call, again.

Andrea checked the time on the screen of her phone. It was nearly 2:00 am now, well past the point of even Hilary's absurd business hours. Andrea sat and stared at the wall, scenarios of what Hilary could be doing, and the various places she could be doing them, rushing through her mind at a speed she didn't enjoy. She pulled a throw over her body, hoping it would warm her up some but it was no use. She was cold from the inside out, and something as simple as a blanket wasn't going to fix it. Finally, she heard the scrape of the lock loosening and the front door opening gently.

Hilary entered the condo, her cellphone in hand and her clutch tucked under her arm. As she was unlocking the door, her phone buzzed, indicating that she had a text message. She tapped the screen of her phone and giggled as she read whatever had been sent to her.

"Good to know it's working," Andrea said dryly from her position on the couch.

Hilary huffed and closed the door roughly, not caring about making noise now that she knew Andrea was still up. "It was the client I just left, Andrea. I told you I was working tonight." She rolled her eyes behind Andrea as she kicked her stilettos off and threw her jacket over a dining room chair. "Why are you still up?"

"It's 2:00 am. When I called at 10:30 pm to see when you'd be home, and you didn't answer, I got worried. LACMA never keeps it's doors open past 11:00 pm, so when you ignored that call too I thought maybe you'd taken your client to dinner," Andrea said, her voice even, "But when you ignored my call at midnight it registered that you just had better things to do than come home. Every respectable restaurant in this town closes by midnight, Hil. So what were you doing?" Andrea couldn't keep the accusations and anger out of her voice as she questioned her partner while getting off the couch to face her.

Hilary's shirt was untucked, a long, silk button up hanging over a pair of skinny jeans. For forty-five, the woman looked incredibly young for her age, and dressed like she was a fashion model. Andrea had loved it at one point, but now it just annoyed her. The clothing was too casual for most clients, but she had seen her dressed like that before to entertain. Still, question after question invaded Andrea's mind as she waited for Hilary to muster up some kind of answer.

"Why don't you go ahead and ask me what's really on your mind Andie?" Hilary said, her voice was dangerously low. "Go on. Ask me if I cheated on you."

Andrea winced as Hilary spat her words out. "Hilary, you know that-"

"I know that you're obsessively always wondering where I am when I go out at night. And it's bullshit. I'm not Karen, I didn't screw around with someone else behind your back. So stop accusing me of her crimes," she said. "I have a very unique job, and it requires me to wine and dine some very important people," she said indignantly.

Andrea blinked back the hot tears that were stinging her eyes. "Firstly, you have no right to bring up my ex. This has nothing to do with her. That relationship ended five years ago, well before I met you, and I have _never _accused you of what she did. I get that you go out late, I get that you have a certain lifestyle that you maintain for work and I also get that sometimes your work hours are going to cut into the time that we should be spending together. All of that I understand and I accepted well before I asked you to move in with me. What I do _not _understand is why you feel the need to ignore my calls, or to not even tell me where you're going and when you'll be home. That isn't obsessive Hil, that's called being in a relationship and having some fucking respect for the woman that you share your life with," Andrea said.

"That's rich, coming from you," Hilary said, "On the topic of fucking, would you say it's _respectful _that we've been sleeping in different beds more often than not?"

Andrea stared unbelievably at Hilary. "You're kidding right? This is your problem; you think that we can have sex and all of our issues are magically going to repair themselves. Well I'm sorry Hil, but I can't be intimate with a stranger, and that's what you feel like to me these days. You only afford me your attention when you want to mess around, but you could care less when it's past midnight on a Thursday and I'm calling you frantically because I'm worried about you."

Hilary stared at Andrea in disbelief. "I don't just want to mess around with you, Andrea. I _miss_ you. And if we're talking about being unfaithful, what is up with Sharon Raydor? Did you have fun with her this evening? How was your little date?"

"So you did listen to my earlier message," Andrea said coolly. "Or perhaps only half of it, because I know you didn't just accuse me of going out with her alone. Her _foster son_ invited me out to dinner with them. So, we can both claim that we were entertaining clients tonight."

"And you just couldn't resist the chance to play happy family with them, could you?" Hilary asked, sighing. "You think you're so good at hiding your feelings, but I _know _you Andrea. I saw the way you were drooling all over her that night at the museum."

"You keep changing the subject to avoid claiming any responsibility for your actions. How like you," Andrea said, annoyed.

Hilary chuckled darkly. "And you keep avoiding the issue because noble Andrea Hobbs can't ever admit that she's wrong or that she's put her faith in someone or something that she shouldn't have," she spat.

"I'm not putting up with this. It's late, and I am exhausted. I spent my day arguing the case to execute a serial rapist and murderer, while you listened to some jackass explain the profound meaning behind his reasoning for splashing blue paint versus red paint across a canvas. When you're prepared to have a real discussion with me, let me know," Andrea said as she stormed off in the direction of their spare room. She made sure to close the door all the way, indicating that she wanted nothing more to do with Hilary for the night.

Hilary rolled her eyes and cursed under her breath as she made her way to their - once shared - bedroom.


	5. Chapter 5

Andrea lay in bed and stared out the window, watching the sun rise slowly over the horizon line. Soft bursts of pink and orange splashed through the thick slats of the venetian blinds and danced across the pale green walls of their spare bedroom. She pulled the duvet up around her chest and yawned, then closed her eyes against the light that assaulted her eyes. The scenery outside should have been pretty but it wasn't, not this morning, at least. Andrea hadn't slept at all the night before. Instead, she'd stayed awake all night, thinking about Hilary's harsh accusations.

Did she really have feelings for Sharon? Did she even know Sharon well enough to have real, deep, feelings for her? The answer, if she really thought about it, was no. But that didn't stop Andrea from feeling something very strong every time the headstrong Captain was around. When Sharon entered a room, it felt to Andrea like all the oxygen around her suddenly disappeared, leaving Andrea breathless and lightheaded every time. She felt a magnetic pull towards Sharon every time she was near her, her heart and body wanted so badly to be in her orbit, despite the stubborn protests from her mind.

Andrea pulled herself out of bed and into a sitting position and brushed her hair back out of her face with her long, slender fingers. She was going to have to start this day whether she liked it or not. Her meeting at 8:00 am with Sharon was going to happen regardless of her feelings and she also had to be in court with Rusty and DDA Rios at 9:00 am again. With a resigned sigh, she pushed herself off the bed and walked into the bathroom so she could turn the shower on and get ready for the day. Hopefully by the time she was done with her shower, Hilary would be dressed and out of their bedroom so she could finish getting ready in peace.

She eyed her appearance in the guest bathroom mirror critically. The lines around her eyes were more and more noticeable these days, as were the lines around her mouth. But instead of laugh lines, that's what Hilary had once lovingly called them, these were the lines of unmistakable stress, worry, and sadness. She wrapped the plush white towel tighter around her damp body and walked down the hall to the master bedroom. She could hear Hilary in the kitchen, so she knew it was safe to enter.

She smirked to herself as she walked through the bedroom to the hallway; when had things changed so drastically? When had there become a time that it was 'safe' to enter her own bedroom, and when on earth had it become a time when Hilary wasn't in her bed? She could still remember vibrantly when all she craved was Hilary in her bed, and in her arms. Now she wasn't sure she even wanted the woman under the same roof.

She pursed her lips as she flipped through the hangers, passing suit after suit, trying not to think too hard about what the next few days would bring for her and her partner. She made quick work of picking out a skirt and suit jacket; navy blue, with a soft grey silk blouse underneath. She applied a little more makeup that she normally wore, in an unsuccessful attempt to cover up the dark circles under her eyes, and she quickly dried her hair. Looking in the mirror again, she surmised that for a woman on the verge of a potential personal life crisis, she didn't look all that bad.

Upon entering the kitchen, Andrea found Hilary pouring herself a glass of juice from their blender. No doubt she was on yet another one of her fad diets, a "liquids only" restriction, or a "no carbs" purge, or, something. She was already dressed for the day, in a very short, very form fitting scarlet wrap-dress; instead of feeling overwhelmed by Hilary's beauty, like she once felt, she felt only mild interest.

"Morning," Andrea said softly. She noticed Hilary's back stiffen.

"Morning," came the curt reply. Hilary turned around and regarded Andrea coldly. "Don't you look nice," she said somewhat bitterly. This outfit had always been a favourite of Hilary's.

Andrea ground her teeth together. "I have a court date at 9:00 am today. The media are all over this case, I told you about it already," she said. She didn't even bother to try and keep the disappointment out of her tone. The Stroh trial was the biggest case of her career, and would probably define it should she win the case; she'd only told Hilary about it dozens of times over the past several months.

"I'm aware, Andrea," Hilary snapped, "I'm also aware of who will be in court with you today. Be sure to give dear Sharon my regards, maybe you can take her to my museum for a date night this weekend, since she seems to love it there so much."

Andrea leaned against the counter, steadying herself so she didn't lose her temper. "I told you already that I have to deal with Sharon because she is Rusty's foster mother and because she is the department head. I have never given you reason to doubt my fidelity and I am insulted that you've accused me of being unfaithful especially when you know what I think of infidelity. If you're insecure for whatever reason, Hilary, that's a deeper reflection on your recent behavior than mine." Andrea turned and glared at her partner, clutching a coffee cup tightly in her hands.

Hilary glared right back at her. "I just find it an amazing coincidence that it's been forever since we had a normal sex life, and the more and more you spend time with her the less and less you want me anywhere near you. Fine, I'll take your word that you haven't been physically intimate with her, but we both know that your mind has been all over that particular _what if_. You may not have been physically unfaithful, but you're being emotionally unfaithful."

"You know I could accuse you of the exact same thing," Andrea said, there was a dangerous edge to her voice, "because you afford your clients and your coworkers more attention than you do me. You treat them to fancy dinners and send them flowers and cards and check in on them more than you do me. I'm not saying that I need any of that luxury, but a phone call, a quick note or email asking me how my day was wouldn't kill you either. And fine, I also believe you when you say that you've remained physically faithful to me, but how many times has your mind wandered? How many times have you imagined yourself in a different scenario, a different life?"

Hilary regarded her angrily; she gripped her glass a bit harder as she remained silent.

"We're human Hil, our minds are going to wander. That's not the issue, the issue is _why_ are we both more content to imagine ourselves anywhere but _here,_ and what the hell happened-"

Andrea was cut off by the loud ringing of Hilary's phone.

"Don't answer it," Andrea said flatly. "Unless it's an honest emergency do _not _answer that phone. This conversation between us is long overdue as it is."

Hilary looked between Andrea and the illuminated screen as it rang two more times. She let out a quiet sigh, "I'm sorry, it's my boss," she mouthed, then slid her finger across her iPhone and held it up to her ear, turning her back on Andrea as she did so.

Andrea watched her for a moment before she set her coffee cup down on the bar. Shaking her head furiously, she snatched her briefcase off of their dining room table and grabbed her keys and sunglasses. She couldn't stay and wait for Hilary any longer and she was afraid of what not being able to wait for Hilary any more really meant. As she walked out of their front door, she realized that she could no longer ignore that things had taken a turn for the very worst between them. Andrea had worked plenty of late nights, but she always tried to at least call and let Hilary know when she wouldn't be home and why she wouldn't be there. When there were social engagements for work, she wanted Hilary there with her, and when she had to go out of town for cases, she missed Hilary terribly. Yet lately it seemed like the museum was more Hilary's lover than Andrea was, like the need for partnership and companionship was completely one-sided; Andrea resolved that she was finally done coming in last place on Hilary's long list of priorities.

Andrea sighed heavily as she slid into the front seat of her car. She would try again tonight; perhaps with the day's work behind them both, they'd have better luck talking through their glaringly obvious issues.

XXX

Sharon greeted Andrea with a wide smile when the DDA walked into her office.

"Good morning! I stopped off for coffee on the way in and grabbed you something. I figured we could both use a little encouragement today," she said kindly as she held out a coffee cup for Andrea.

"Thank you," Andrea said; she told herself that the warmth she felt spreading throughout her limbs was the result of touching the hot coffee cup and not the result of her fingers brushing against Sharon's knuckles as the older woman handed her the cup.

Sharon nodded as Andrea took the coffee and invited the younger woman to sit down across from her at her desk. "Rusty is in the break room having breakfast with Lts. Provenza and Flynn and Buzz. Andy brought breakfast burritos in for everyone, they're all really rallying around him," Sharon mused as she watched Andrea, who was staring down into her own lap absentmindedly.

"Oh, that's fantastic. I'm so thrilled for him that he has everyone's support," Andrea remarked, doing her best to smile back at Sharon. Though there was a weak smile on her lips, it did not reach her eyes.

Sharon frowned slightly as she took in Andrea's features. She had more makeup on than usual, but she looked downright exhausted. It was only the second day of the trial, and she had several more weeks left to go. _What could've happened to wipe her out like this_? Sharon wondered. Her eyes were still the same dull hue they'd towards the end of their dinner last night, only now they were lined with dark circles and deeper worry lines. Was there something going on with her health? Or her home life?

"Andrea, forgive me for prying, and by all means do not answer if you're uncomfortable, but are you alright?" Sharon asked gently, turning the coffee cup in her hands as she spoke.

"I'm fine," Andrea snapped. She looked up and saw the mild hurt in Sharon's eyes and instantly regretted her tone. "Sorry," she said softly, "I'm just, a bit overworked these days I think. The DA's office has undergone a lot of changes recently and in addition to my regular responsibilities by boss keeps sticking me with people like Rios to mentor; people who I just don't have the time or patience for right now." She hoped that Sharon bought her fib. Yes, work had been more demanding these days than usual, but it certainly wasn't anything that she couldn't handle.

Sharon regarded Andrea carefully for a moment before humming softly. "You know, I sometimes forget that it's not just adolescents that lie in order to hide what they're really going through. And I sometimes forget that despite my good intentions, I do put my nose where it doesn't belong and where it is not welcome. You are the most capable attorney I've ever known Andrea, I have no doubt that you're handling every challenge that the DA is throwing at you perfectly. I'm sorry for prying into your personal life though, and I understand your need for privacy. But please don't think that I asked to be nosey, I asked because I genuinely care about you, and I want you to know that should you ever need someone to talk to, I'm just a phone call away," Sharon said.

Andrea took a healthy sip of the scorching hot coffee to stifle herself from blurting out something she was sure she would regret. "I appreciate your concern Sharon," she said quietly, measuredly, "I just... you know how it goes. Busy schedules, and all of that. We'll be fine." Andrea nodded at Sharon to reassure her and rested her coffee cup against her mouth as she leaned back in her chair. The tension radiated off of her as she avoided looking back at Sharon across the desk.

"As long as you're alright, Andrea," Sharon said seriously. "And to be honest, I've just been through hell and back in my own personal life, my husband came back into town and crashed for a week. So I am very much in need of a girl's night myself," she said with a soft giggle, "Jackson, he's a recovering alcoholic so I had to get rid of all my wine while he was staying over. But, I've re-stocked my fridge now so just give me a ring if ever you want to split a good chardonnay with me," she explained a bit hastily, a bit embarrassedly.

Andrea felt her hands become numb, and her stomach drop. She stared a bit helplessly at Sharon for a moment before schooling her features into calm interest. "You're married?" she asked softly, the words left her mouth before she could stop them.

Sharon blushed. "Well, yes, but on paper only. It's...a bit of a mess," she rolled her eyes in that self-deprecating way that Andrea had always found so endearing, "Jackson overcame his alcohol addiction by substituting it for gambling. Obviously that caused a mess for me financially, and seeing as he left the responsibility of raising and sending our children to school to _me,_ I'm still...untangling myself from his mess. We've been separated and living apart for twenty years but every once and a while he pops back into my life. It's complicated," Sharon repeated nervously, talking about her messy personal life never got easier over the years, "I want so badly to remain civil with him so that my kids can hopefully repair their relationship with them. But...complicated," she chuckled darkly and rolled her eyes again. Hastily, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ears.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear. I mean...it's none of my business. I'm sorry to have asked, Andrea said curtly.

Sharon opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again. She had opened up to Andrea to make her feel more comfortable; she had not expected such curt response from the DDA. "I wouldn't have told you if I was offended by your question, Andrea," she remarked finally, eyeing the blonde curiously. "Andrea, I... I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I know you're not interested in hearing my woes about my ex husband. I should have kept it to myself. I just... you've been different lately. If you need a friend, I want you to know I'm here for you okay? Like it or not, you're a part of this team," she said as she gestured to the officers working outside of her office, "and when you're a part of this team, I will always have your back."

Their conversation wasn't going how Sharon had hoped it would; she'd wanted Andrea to come over for dinner and wine and a girl's night, she'd wanted Andrea to feel comfortable and safe around Sharon her and her team. She'd enjoyed seeing Andrea and Hilary at the gallery and her evening with Andrea and Rusty in Hollywood left her aching to spend more time with the younger woman. In what capacity, she wasn't entirely sure, but given that Andrea was already in a romantic relationship Sharon was happy to have Andrea as a friend. Obviously, Andrea was not interested. Sharon looked on, somewhat sadly, as Andrea fiddled with her coffee cup.

"You didn't make me uncomfortable," Andrea mumbled, "It's just not easy for me to talk about... certain things. I appreciate your friendship Sharon. And it means the world to me that you see me as one of your own," she said sincerely.

Sharon smiled at the younger woman, feeling a bit more hopeful. "We should get over to court," she sighed as she checked her wristwatch. "We'll go over the notes on our way? I'll drive?" she offered.

Andrea gathered her briefcase and stood from her chair. "Sure thing," she said.

Sharon moved from behind her desk and grabbed her purse, sliding the leather straps over her shoulder carefully so she didn't wrinkle her silk blouse. She grabbed her blazer off the back of her chair then moved towards Andrea.

"Andrea, I meant what I said, really. I consider you a trusted friend," she said quietly, moving to wrap her arms around the other woman as she stood. Andrea let out a soft squeak as she felt Sharon's arms come into contact with her waist, but she melted into the embrace quickly, allowing Sharon to wrap her arms fully around her. She rested her chin on Sharon's shoulder for a brief moment as Sharon pressed her body into Andrea's, holding her firmly.

"Don't look so sad, okay? Or I'll take you to the Pig n' Whistle again," Sharon teased as she let her go, somewhat hesitantly.

Andrea laughed softly and placed a gentle hand on Sharon's shoulder. "I will do my best." She patted Sharon softly then turned on her heels to walk out of the office, tension twisting in her abdomen.

XXX

Andrea rested her head against the back of her seat as she crawled through the brutal 5:00 pm traffic back to her apartment. She'd left immediately after court let out, knowing that if she stuck around there would be an inevitable invitation for drinks or food from Rusty and Sharon or one of the other lawyers; while she appreciated the invitations, she knew that she ought to get home and try to come to some sort of resolution with Hilary. As she sat through the red light for a third time, her thoughts drifted to that morning in Sharon's office. She knew she looked tired, but did she really look so bad it was obvious she was going through hell, or was Sharon just _that _perceptive?

Andrea shook her head and groaned. Not only was Sharon insanely perceptive but she was _married._ Married, and raising a teenager; what the hell was Andrea thinking? Much as she hated to admit it, Hilary had been right; she'd been thinking about Sharon more than was appropriate to be thinking about a coworker or even a newfound friend. Regardless of whatever happened with Hilary tonight, Sharon Raydor needed to be the farthest thing from her mind from now on.

Their lives were obviously very different. Andrea came home on Friday nights and sipped wine and took bubble baths. She spent Saturdays having long brunches and reading novels and taking hikes. Sharon had a _husband_ and was on her second round of raising children. They would never see eye to eye, regardless of Andrea's fantasies about her. No, Andrea had to put this thing to rest, even if she put her relationship with Hilary to rest right along with it. Sharon was obviously very comfortable leading a life _very _different from the one Andrea led. Andrea laughed at herself as she turned the corner, traffic finally inching closer to her street. How could she have been so damn foolish?

She was stuck in her relationship, but she was never going to move forward with the half-formed fantasy in her mind; the least she could do was remove herself from a situation where both she and Hilary were hurting, even if it were just a while, until they could work through their issues.

The first thing Andrea registered when she walked into her home was laughter. The second, was the smell of strong whisky and brie cheese.

Andrea kept her blazer and high heels on, but set her briefcase down on the kitchen table. She walked through the kitchen to the living room to see Hilary sitting on the couch with a young man, clad in a suit jacket and jeans. Hilary herself was dressed to the nines, still wearing the same stiletto heels she'd put on that morning.

"Good evening," Andrea announced, raising an eyebrow as she eyed her partner.

"Oh, hey babe," Hilary smiled, the warning obvious on her face as she watched Andrea carefully. Andrea got the impression that Hilary did not want her to cause a scene, which made her want to that much more. Hilary hadn't told her anything about entertaining someone in their home tonight.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize we were entertaining this evening or I would have been home earlier, _honey._" Andrea smirked as she drawled out the word honey and crossed her arms over her chest. Had Hilary really just called her babe like they were fine and dandy? She knew how much Andrea _loathed _it when anyone called her 'babe' or 'baby.'

"Well, I figured you couldn't get out of court. It was a last minute thing. So sorry," Hilary countered as a grin crossed her lips. "I wasn't aware attorneys could leave court early."

Hilary's joke fell on deaf ears as Andrea walked past her to extend her hand to the young man on the couch. "Hello, I'm Andrea Hobbs, Hilary's partner. I'm so sorry to intrude on your evening, but I live here." She shot a dangerous look back at Hilary, knowing she would pay for that remark in their argument later. At this point, an argument was inevitable.

"Christopher James, it's a pleasure," he said politely, giving Andrea's hand a firm shake. "More like I'm so sorry to intrude on your evening, Andrea. Hilary didn't mention anyone else would be joining her at home tonight..." Christopher's voice trailed off in a way that made Andrea angry. Of course Hilary hadn't mentioned anyone else lived here. That would have required Hilary thinking about someone other than herself.

"It isn't a problem. You may enjoy your whisky and brie on my couch, in my living room, but I've just gotten out of a very long day in court. I hope you don't think me rude, Christopher, but I am going to excuse myself for some real dinner, a tamer drink, and my bedroom." She nodded her head and pursed her lips into a tight-lipped half smile, then turned to Hilary.

When she was sure she was turned so that Christopher could not see her face, her expression changed entirely. She narrowed her eyes at Hilary and pursed her lips again, this time with no hint of a smile on her face. "I trust you won't mind if I retire, considering you forgot to invite me in the first place."

Hilary did her best to laugh Andrea's comment off and leaned into kiss her, trying desperately to keep up appearances.

Andrea placed a single finger on Hilary's sternum and inched her back before her mouth came anywhere near Andrea's. "I think not. Goodnight, Hilary," she said.

Andrea turned on her heel and marched out of the living room before she could think about what she'd done in front of Hilary's client. She'd been angry enough to do something like that before; but never wanted to suffer the long-term consequences of humiliating Hilary in such a way. Finally, tonight, after being forgotten and humiliated so many times herself, she'd had enough.

Andrea was wiggling into her pajamas when Hilary came storming into their room.

"What the fuck was that?" she shouted. "He just left! I cannot believe you acted like that, he just walked right out which means that I won't get his contract either!"

"Good to know that you and I are in the middle of a very serious crisis in our personal relationship but the only thing you give a fuck about is some up and coming little shit. So much that you went out of your way to disrespect me and you invited him back here without asking me if I was okay having a complete stranger in my home. But you're right Hil, I'm the selfish one. I'm the one who came home right after work because I thought that it was the _right_ thing to do after our fight last night and this morning, I'm the one who keeps trying to talk to you despite your every intention to ignore me when I have something uncomfortable to say. Well guess what," Andrea ripped the covers back on the bed with enough force to make Hilary wince, "I want you out of here. Tonight."

Hilary balled her fists and blinked back the tears that were falling. "You can't kick me out of our home," she said.

Andrea climbed into the bed, making sure to place herself right in the middle of the mattress. "I am not kicking you out of our home. I am telling you that you need to leave _my _home, the one that I owned before I ever even met you because I am exhausted and I need time to think and most of all I need time away from you."

"I...you're overreacting," Hilary said.

Andrea took an even, measured breath. "No, I'm not. I am not lying or exaggerating when I say that I am exhausted. I am tired of dancing around the issue with you, I am tired of dealing with your moods, I am tired of being second to everyone else in your life, and most of all I am tired of trying to fix things when it's very clear that you don't care enough to meet me halfway. When was the last time that you asked me how my day was? When was the last time you offered me a shoulder to cry on after I had a nasty case?"

Hilary stood at the edge of the bed, her jaw clenched tightly as she tried in vain to control her emotions. "Please, Andrea... we're good together. I've been busy with work and I take responsibility for that," she said.

Andrea sighed. "I've been busy too, but I'm never too busy for you." Andrea tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Yesterday was my birthday. At first I thought you'd wait until lunch to call me and say something nice to me. When you didn't call, I thought that maybe you'd surprise me by picking me up at work and take me to dinner. But not only did you never call, but you never answered my calls when I tried to get in contact with you. While I was leaving you a message on your voicemail, I realized, you hadn't called because you simply hadn't cared to remember."

Hilary closed her eyes in horror. "I forgot, I'm so sorry, I'll make it up-"

"You accused me of going out to dinner with Rusty and Sharon because I wanted to play happy families with them. Really, I went out with them because I didn't want to spend another birthday alone while you stayed out all night with clients and coworkers. I wish I could say that last night was a one time thing; you forgetting about me, us fighting when you got home, but I can't remember the last time that we spent more than a few hours together without fighting, or without me feeling ignored. Do you love me?" Andrea asked softly "Or do you just love the idea of me?"

Hilary stared at her in disbelief. "I don't know what you're talking about, of course I-"

"It's a simple question Hilary."

Hilary combed her fingers through her hair and half-sobbed, half-cried. "Are you serious right now?"

Andrea hugged her knees to her chest and furiously rubbed the tears staining her cheeks. "If you loved me, I wouldn't even have to ask. I wouldn't feel so self-conscious about things between us. And if I really loved you, you wouldn't have to ask me either. We'd be in this bed together and we'd never want to leave," she said quietly. "I think we both know that's not the case for us anymore, and I think we both know that it's unfair to keep hurting each other because we feel trapped."

Hilary watched her in silence. She couldn't speak, she couldn't move. She opened her mouth to say something then closed it again. She knew she'd tested Andrea quite a bit lately, but she wasn't sure when things had gotten this bad.

"Hilary, I need you to leave," Andrea repeated.

Andrea's words finally broke her from her stupor and Hilary sat on the edge of the bed, shaking with quiet sobs. "Where am I supposed to go?" she asked desperately, wrapping her arms around her torso. "Yes, you owned this place first. but it's my home now, too. What am I supposed to do?"

Andrea stared out the window; looking at Hilary was too hard. She watched the moonlight as it reflected off the windowsill, grasping at anything that would keep her distracted enough not to totally lose it. "To a hotel. You can even put it on my card if you want. Take some cash out of our joint account at an ATM if you prefer. You can stay there for a few days while we figure this out but I need you to go. Now."

Hilary did her best to stop herself from crying as she stood up again. She knew that Andrea had made a decision and there was no changing her mind, no matter how emotional she became. She looked at Andrea one last time, but her partner kept her eyes glued to the window, refusing to look back. Slowly, Hilary moved to the side of the bed and leaned over. She kissed Andrea gently on the forehead and walked out of the bedroom, knowing she'd lost that fight. Hilary grabbed one of her travel bags and stuffed some clothing and toiletries into it; the entire process was mercifully quick seeing as Hilary always had items pre-packed for her business trips. Wordlessly, she left.

Instead of feeling an absence when Hilary left, Andrea felt as though a weight had been lifted off of her. She readjusted herself in the bed and pulled the duvet all the way over her head. For the first time in a long time, she drifted off into a dreamless slumber.


	6. Chapter 6

Andrea sat down on the bench as she finished her five miles. It was her Sunday tradition to get up at 7:00 am and run five miles before Hilary got out of bed so she could be back in time to make breakfast for her partner. Now, without breakfast to make, Andrea had slept in and was running her five miles at 9:00 am instead. She folded her torso over her legs as she stretched, her blonde ponytail splayed out over her knees. It felt good to be physically exhausted instead of emotionally exhausted for once; she hadn't exercised since Hilary left two weeks ago.

She hadn't really done much of anything since Hilary left; she was still getting used to life. She was sad that something that was once good had ended so poorly, but she was relieved that something that had ended up so poisonous was no longer a part of her life. Her feelings of panic had eased, she was sleeping better, and she felt less and less like she was on the verge of a complete meltdown as the days passed.

"Hey there, Counselor," Sharon chirped as she stopped at the bench Andrea was sitting on. Andrea's stomach did a flip-flop at the sound of Sharon's voice. Sharon was clad in a pair of tight lycra running capris and a forest green running jacket. Clearly, she was not wearing a sweater underneath, only a sports bra and a tank top, both of which were revealed thanks to the zipper of her jacket being halfway undone.

Andrea ran her hands over her legs, smoothing her running shorts down over her thighs as much as she could.

"I didn't know you were a runner," Andrea remarked casually as she took in the sight of Sharon. She found herself regretting her decision to run in the park instead of just through her neighborhood this morning. Part of her felt insanely guilty for feeling so strongly attracted to someone else after ending a years long relationship less than a month ago. Yet part of her also felt free for the first time in years; free to finally enjoy the opportunity to chat with Sharon and to allow her attraction to just _be_, not to try and suffocate it.

Sharon threw her head back lightly as she let out a healthy laugh. "I'm not. I am so not. I walk a lot. I jog some... Are you a runner?" Sharon asked, her interest in Andrea and her hobbies apparently had no limit. She couldn't help but notice how muscular Andrea's thighs were; her inner thighs had some softness to them as was natural with age, but her outer thighs were quite sculpted from what Sharon could see, thanks to Andrea's running shorts.

"Yes, I do it casually," Andrea smiled, moving over so Sharon could join her on the bench. "Where's Rusty this morning? And your husband?" Andrea knew the question was dangerous, but she was shamelessly fishing. She wanted to see just how often this Jack character really came around.

"Rusty is still in bed, I am sure, I let him sleep in on the weekends," Sharon smiled as she took a seat next to the blonde on the wooden bench, "And Jackson? I have no idea where he is. I haven't heard from him since the last time he rolled through town, thank God for small favours." Sharon smirked at Andrea and raised her eyebrows; she noticed that Andrea looked much healthier than she had in the last little while. The colour was beginning to return to her cheeks and her eyes were less sunken in.

"What about you? Where is Hilary?"

"I, uh..." Andrea paused, shifting uncomfortably on the bench, "We broke up. Two weeks ago." Her tone was even as she said it, lacking any indication of sadness or remorse. Andrea felt a pang of guilt as she registered her own lack of emotion, and wondered what it must have sounded like to Sharon. Would she come across as insensitive or uncaring?

"I...oh, I'm so sorry Andrea," Sharon said, genuinely shocked. It had been clear the last few weeks that Andrea had been dealing with some stress in her personal life, but she had no idea that things had gotten so bad that Hilary and Andrea had called it quits.

Andrea shrugged. "It happens," she said softly.

Sharon regarded her for a moment. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked gently.

"I asked her to move out temporarily, I needed the space to think. She stayed at a hotel on the Friday night. I always go grocery shopping on Saturdays, she knows that, she must have come back while I was out because when I came back all of her things were gone," she said.

Sharon decided to take a chance and reach for Andrea's hand on the bench. She caressed the soft skin of Andrea's knuckles with the pad of her thumb. It felt beyond wonderful to hold her hand; it was even more wonderful that the younger woman had allowed her to and that Andrea was smiling slightly at the contact.

"We'd become strangers to each other in the last few months, the last year really. It just didn't feel right anymore, I didn't feel like I had a home anymore," Andrea confessed. "It was like I had lost a part of myself in our relationship, but not in a good way. It was suffocating; when she finally left, I felt like I could breathe properly again."

"I'm sorry, separations, they're not easy," Sharon said, "Is there any hope at all of you two getting back together?"

Andrea shook her head. "No. We both wanted very different things from each other, and we already wasted far too much time trying to change each other. We met up to talk a few days after she left and we've both decided that it's for the best. She admitted that she felt happier and more at peace as well, being away from me. We're in the process of separating our finances now, it'll be a while before everything is final but we're on our way to moving on completely. It wasn't fair forcing ourselves to stay together, not to me, not to Hilary. We both deserve better," she admitted quietly.

Sharon tilted her head in understanding. "Sounds a lot like Jack and I when we first split up. Though, it's so-"

"Complicated. I remember," Andrea said. She risked a grin at her bench mate.

"Yes. Very complicated. Not everyone understands, or wants to take the time to try to. Most people just judge you, blindly, they really have no idea what it's like," Sharon said sadly.

"Do you regret it? Marrying him?" Andrea asked.

Sharon considered Andrea's question carefully before answering. "No. I don't regret it because I got two beautiful children out of it. And to be fair, our first few years together were good. They were happy. My kids and I have a very close relationship now and I am forever grateful that they inherited Jack's better qualities versus his other qualities. But, naturally, and especially lately, there are times when I think...what if?"

Sharon turned Andrea's hand over so that her fingers were tickling the palm of the blonde's hand.

"What if what?" Andrea asked breathlessly.

"What if you and I had been spared the pain we've both been through in our personal lives? What if things had been...different?" Sharon mused shyly.

Andrea looked at Sharon for a long time before she let a small smile cross her lips. Beautiful, clear, concise realization finally hit her. She raked her fingers over Sharon's hand and intertwined them with hers again so she could squeeze Sharon's slender fingers.

"Yeah... what if?" she asked just as quietly, keeping eye contact with Sharon as she spoke.

Sharon smiled warmly and shrugged. "Just…" she trailed off.

Andrea smiled at Sharon's sudden shyness. "Please?" she asked softly. "I'd really like to hear what you're thinking. Please?"

Sharon hardened her resolve. "I would have taken you to dinner and dancing. Something tells me that you are a good at it and that you love it. I would have danced all night with you because I'd want so badly for you to hold me close. After, I'd bring you back home, and if you let me, I would have kissed you, then asked if I could take you out again the next night," she responded quietly. Her palms tingled from her nerves, would Andrea find such a confession unwelcome so soon after her separation?

Andrea licked her lips. "I think I would have liked that. And you're right, I do love to dance; I think I'd love it even more if I could dance with you. Hilary didn't care much for that…" she trailed off sadly.

"I…I'm sorry," Sharon said as she shook her head, slightly horrified. She inwardly cursed herself for triggering an unpleasant memory. "I didn't mean to…Look Andrea, you're a very beautiful, intelligent, kind, and passionate woman. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just wanted you to know that you're one hell of a catch. I know that as a woman, it's hard to think of yourself as desirable after a major separation. But you are; you are an incredible woman."

Andrea smiled at Sharon's words, then shrugged. "It's in the past now. Sooner rather than later, I've got to start getting used to moving forward. And, thank you. You didn't make me feel uncomfortable, and," Andrea paused and blushed slightly, "It's actually really nice to hear such lovely things, especially after my entire personal life has just fallen apart. It's especially nice to hear them from you." She chuckled a little and shrugged, it felt strangely natural to talk with Sharon like this.

Sharon hummed happily. "Forward," she repeated. Her green eyes were sparkling; without her glasses, Andrea could see every tiny line that framed those gorgeous eyes.

Andrea took a deep breath. "But as lovely as that sounds, and I truly do mean it when I say that, that would have been before all of this," Andrea said sadly, "A lot has happened, for both of us. Like it or not, we're both in very specific places in our lives."

"A lot has happened, you are absolutely right" Sharon repeated sadly. "Is it wrong that despite all that has happened, that I don't want it any less?" she asked softly.

"No, it's never wrong to want to be happy Sharon. Trust me, I've spent far too long feeling guilty about wanting something more, wanting something that would make me truly happy. The last few days I've been thinking about how much time I wasted being unhappy, and feeling guilty for being unhappy and I realized that I don't ever want to waste so much time feeling that way again. " Beside her, Sharon nodded her head solemnly. Andrea surmised that Sharon must have felt the same way directly after her separation with Jackson.

"Though I think...I think that right now I'm not ready just yet. I think I need time to think some more, and to come to terms with things. But maybe, someday I might like it if you took me dancing," Andrea said.

"I know," Sharon voiced her understanding, "and until then, I'd like it if we could be friends?"

Andrea flashed Sharon a toothy grin. "I can do friends," she chuckled softly. "Actually, I would really appreciate a good friend right now."

"Me too," Sharon said.

Andrea used her grip on Sharon's hand to tug the older woman a few inches closer to her on the bench so that their legs touched. She brought their entwined hands to rest against her leg; she shivered as Sharon's fingertips made contact with her bare thigh and her hand at the same time. Sharon rested her head against Andrea's shoulder and sighed happily.

For the first time in a very long time, they both looked to the future with optimism.


	7. Chapter 7

"Sharon?" Rusty called from the front door of Sharon's condo. "The door is for you."

Sharon, who had been hastily trying to finish getting dressed for work hurried to the door. "Sorry," she apologized as she whizzed past him.

Rusty smirked at Sharon and made his way back into the kitchen. He'd seen what was waiting for her at the door, he'd also seen Andrea Hobbs hastily rush into the elevator down the hall as soon as he'd opened the door; he had to commend her for trying to time this all so perfectly, so he'd waited until she was in the elevator to call Sharon. He had to shake his head and laugh at the DDA's tremendous attempt at romance; it was both impressive but also completely so not surprising. He liked Andrea; he would forever appreciate her support as they both navigated the nightmare that had been the Stroh trial all those months ago. But he also liked that she and Sharon had grown so close lately as well; he'd had a sneaking suspicion that there was something more going on between the two of them, and this had just confirmed it.

"Oh my," Sharon gasped as she regarded the beautiful, and rather unique, arrangement of flowers before her. A dozen orange roses were set in a low vase; the shocking brightness and hue of the flowers was both eccentric and completely stunning. Taped to the vase was an envelope, Sharon's name was written in familiar, much loved, handwriting.

Sharon brought the flowers into the kitchen and set them on the table before turning her attention to the card.

_9:00 pm, Geoffreys, will you accompany me? _

_P.S I'd let you kiss me goodnight._

"What does the card say?" Rusty asked casually.

"Um, nothing," Sharon said, blushing. A part of her was hardly surprised that her not-so-secret-admirer was such a romantic, yet she was blown away by the gesture nonetheless. "Did you happen to see who dropped these off?"

The image of Andrea rushing into the elevator and hastily pushing the button to close the door ran through his mind again. "Nope, I didn't see anything except the flowers on the floor," he lied.

"Sure you didn't," Sharon teased. Her heart swelled with love and pride at Rusty's attempt to help 'cover' for Andrea.

"Yep, just like the card is blank," he said while winking at his foster mother. "My shift starts in 30 minutes. I'll see you later?" he asked as he grabbed his bag for work. He'd picked up a job as a sales representative in the mall this summer, and was using the car Sharon kept for all of her kids to get to and from work. Rusty was pleased that "all" now included him.

"Yes...well... I think I have plans tonight at 9:00 pm, actually. But I'll be home a little later. Keep your cell charged, okay?" Sharon said as she accepted Rusty's brief embrace.

"Yeah, okay," Rusty smiled at her as he headed for the door. He turned around after he opened it, "Have fun tonight, okay? Both of you." Rusty said, truly meaning every word.

"Thank you," Sharon said, she was grateful for his silent and unconditional acceptance. She held on to him a moment longer before letting go to smooth his hair down. "Have a good day," she said before letting him go completely.

Once he was out the door, Sharon reached for her cellphone and called Andrea's number by heart.

"Good morning Counselor," she greeted warmly as soon as Andrea answered. From the background noise, she could tell that Andrea had her on speaker and that she was currently caught in LA's infamous morning traffic.

"Good morning," Andrea replied silkily.

"You'll never guess what just occurred this morning," Sharon said, "Though it seems quite clear that I have a secret admirer."

Andrea's heart sped up a little more. In recent weeks their friendship had started to change; ever since she and Hilary had officially finished separating their finances, Andrea had allowed herself to start contemplating all the delightful what-ifs between herself and Sharon. It had been months since their mutual confessions in the park, and since that day their friendship had deepened to the point that it had become the single most important relationship in Andrea's life. She could no longer deny that loving Sharon Raydor was completely inevitable; Andrea was more than ready to start loving her, openly.

"Is that so?" she said evenly.

Sharon hummed. "Yes, a very thoughtful admirer I might add."

Sharon was practically giddy with nerves and sweet anticipation; the tone of their weekly dinners and lunches had changed recently, much to her delight. She began to notice a certain warmth in Andrea's eyes anytime the younger woman regarded her, not to mention a increase in lingering touches on Andrea's behalf. She dared to hope that, perhaps, Andrea was ready to explore the mutual attraction that had silently existed between them for so long.

"Are you considering taking your secret admirer up on her offer?" Andrea asked. She gripped her steering wheel with slightly trembling hands.

"Absolutely. In fact, I can't wait for tonight," Sharon replied quickly, the she paused. "Andrea, are you su-"

"Absolutely. I'm sure, I promise Sharon," Andrea interjected. She heard Sharon chuckle on the other end; she could picture the faint blush that was probably painting the tops of her cheeks.

Sharon cleared her throat. "Well then if that is settled, I should probably go now. It seems that I have a date to prepare for. After all the effort that my admirer has gone through, I want to make sure that I reciprocate her efforts," she said. Her mind was already scrolling through her wardrobe selecting options for their evening; she'd have to bring her change of clothes to work, just in case she was required to stay later today.

A shiver raced up Andrea's spine at Sharon's seductive tone. "I look forward to seeing you later then. Have a good day Sharon," Andrea said.

Sharon grinned into her phone. "I have no doubt that I will."

XXX

At 9:00 pm sharp, there was yet another knock on Sharon's door. This time it was expected, and Sharon opened it with a nervous smile and slightly sweaty palms. She was eternally grateful that today had run so smoothly and that she'd been able to leave work right away. Despite selecting her outfit hours previously, she'd changed half a dozen times since coming home in a nervous, doubtful fit before finally settling for her original outfit again; a half-sleeve navy wrap-dress with nude stilettos. After dressing, she'd swept her hair to one side and secured her flowing curls with a decorative pin.

On the other side of the door stood Andrea, wearing a black v-neck dress that hugged her curves beautifully. She wore black pumps and had gone through the effort of putting her hair up in a simple, low, bun which left her neck and a large portion of her shoulders completely bare.

"You look beautiful Andrea," Sharon sighed as she let the blonde in, "earlier I thought that your flowers were the most beautiful sight to grace my doorstep. Clearly I was mistaken."

Smoldering looks were exchanged as Sharon placed her hand on Andrea's hip to balance her as she tilted her head upwards to gently kiss Andrea's cheek. Andrea covered Sharon's hand with her own and leaned into Sharon's brief kiss. The touch of Sharon's lips against Andrea's cheek was brief, but it left both women dizzy with pleasure and longing.

As the broke apart, Andrea followed Sharon inside her condo. "Did you like them?" she asked shyly as soon as she saw the flowers sitting on Sharon's counter.

Clutch and cell phone secured, Sharon turned around to offer Andrea a genuine, dazzling smile. "I loved them. I love what they meant. And I love that you went through so much effort to get them to me like that," she answered as she reached out to briefly grasp Andrea's hand again.

Andrea bit her lip guiltily. "Did Rusty see me?"

"If he did he didn't mention it. In fact, he very deliberately tried to cover for you. Which makes me fear what the two of you might be capable of if you joined forces," Sharon teased.

"I'm mildly insulted my dear Captain," Andrea retorted. At the sound of Sharon's muffled giggle, another shiver ran through Andrea's body.

Deciding that the two of them had waited quite long enough, Andrea held her arm out. "Will you accompany me as my date this evening?" she asked quietly, hardly daring herself to believe that all of this was finally real.

Sharon took Andrea's arm. "I can do date," she said just as she softly.


End file.
